I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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