just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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