So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im six kinds of drunk right now
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
