ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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