What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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