kristin has been a bad kristin
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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