I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
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