He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize