It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
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I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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