i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
