Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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