we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
