If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize