Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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