Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize