Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
