you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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