im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
