he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I am mentally ready for anal.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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