I love black thongs
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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