And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
