happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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