Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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