I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize