I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
