I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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