I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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