I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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