is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
