What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
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His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
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Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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