I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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