I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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