hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
