I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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