OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
