she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
