I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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