he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Found your dick twin last night
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
