If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
