How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm really into asian looking animals
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
