Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
