I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
