Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
