My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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