Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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