If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize