We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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