I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
