then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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