he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
