im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize