They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
