found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
