Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
