Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
