Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.