I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
