You can't motorboat a personality
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?