I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
