i would punch a child for taco bell
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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