I cannot find my penis.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016