So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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