Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...