she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.