I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
