Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize